we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
