Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Drunk is not a location!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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