Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
