break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
