Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
