i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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