Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
