toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
