girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This is my gift to your gina
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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