The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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