What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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