I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
