This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
