The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
