So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
