Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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