mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how can u be prego again
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
