You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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