guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
