youre lurking in front of me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm passing your future prison.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
