apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
