Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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