ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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