Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
