I skipped work to stalk him.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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