Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
tell your sister to shave her snatch
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
