I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
