that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
