god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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