hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
These tits shall not be calmed
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
