I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
