Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
