I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
