So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
