I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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