Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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