it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
