My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
