she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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