White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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