So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Randomize
