Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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