LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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