she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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