I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
