this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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