I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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