Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
