I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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