Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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