You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
