i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
