We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
